The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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