some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
