i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
