you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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