it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
