I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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