i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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