You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
