I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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