I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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