question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
