Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
