shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
