It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I looked at my own cervix.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
