have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
