we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
