whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
