the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
