The maid of honor just puked.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
