My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
