im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
