mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
