i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
