I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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