my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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