a queef is a wish your heart makes.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
