I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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