Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
