nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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