Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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