I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
