Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
