I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
