My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
it was like eating out sand paper
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
