wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
