I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
