Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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