Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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