We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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