i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
