Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
