even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
