whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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