My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
