Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
