So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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