You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
