Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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