If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
