She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
