Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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